Archive for the ‘Debt’ Category

Feeling Mature about Your Family’s Finances

LBalke

The following is a staff writer post from Libby Balke. She’s an amazing writer, work-at-home mother of two, and has been married almost 8 years. Please leave any questions or comments below for either Libby or Crystal.

We’ve been watching a lot of college basketball lately in our household, and one commercial has caught my attention. It’s for a financial services company, and the crux of the ad is “When did you know?” (I’m intentionally not naming the company, number one because this isn’t a sponsored post, and number two because I don’t remember the business’s name.) They’re basically asking consumers when they knew they were responsible adults; my husband and I both agreed that we started feeling like grown-ups when we were able to successfully manage our family’s finances. But we disagree on something to: exactly when that successful money management began.

My Husband’s Case

My husband believes we’ve been successfully handling our family’s finances from very early on in our marriage. We tied the knot during our last few months of school (grad school for me, undergrad for him), but by our eight-month anniversary, we were both gainfully employed, working full-time jobs with benefits. His version of success begins at that point.

My Case

I, on the other hand, think our successful management of our family’s finances started much, much later. Sure, we both had jobs with benefits eight months into our marriage; we bought a house 15 months in; we bought our first brand new car 27 months after tying the knot, and another one just shy of our fourth wedding anniversary – we also had debt, piles and piles of it.

Is that responsible money management? While it may be the status quo for most Americans these days, it’s not exactly ideal.

To answer the ad’s question, “When did you know?”, for me it was the month before our five-year anniversary. That’s when my husband and I sat down, looked at our family budget, and realized that we were wasting great gobs of money on things we not only didn’t need, but in many cases didn’t even want. We were spending over $1,000 a month on child care, while I felt like I was letting someone else raise my child; we were shelling out $200 a month for someone to clean our house, even though I found scrubbing toilets therapeutic. Examining our budget meant cutting out some luxuries, rethinking our priorities, and making some serious changes – changes that put me on the path to leaving my full-time job (the one with all those benefits that made my husband feel like a real grown-up) in order to ultimately become a work-at-home mom.

Over the next six months, we put our family’s finances into real order. We paid down debts; we shopped around for everything from car insurance to Internet providers; we redoubled our efforts to build our nest egg. When it was all said and done, I’d left the rat race behind and was able to find work/life balance doing my job out of my home office.

And that’s when I started feeling like a responsible adult.

What about you? When did you start feeling like a real grown-up? Would your spouse or partner agree?

Married… and Almost Out of Debt

LBalke

The following is a staff writer post from Libby Balke.  She’s an amazing writer, work-at-home mother of two, and has been married almost 8 years.  Please leave any questions or comments below for either Libby or Crystal.  :-)

When my husband said, “I do” – now nearly eight years ago – he wasn’t just agreeing to make me a part of his life til death do us part. He was also agreeing to take on the $55,000 in student loans I’d amassed during my undergraduate and graduate school years. It was a big change for my husband; as an athlete on scholarship, he’d attended the same school as I did, but without accruing a single dollar of student loan debt.

For the first three years of our married life – the so-called “Newlywed” period – we didn’t worry too much about that original student loan debt. In fact, we made very little effort to pay off the debt, with the exception of the bare minimum monthly payments. During that period, we applied for (and were approved for) loan after loan after loan. First it was one vehicle loan, then another; we took out a loan for our first house back when your signature was the only thing you needed to get a mortgage; we took out a $19,000 loan on a consumer credit card to pay for an addition to our first home. By the time we were celebrating our third wedding anniversary, our combined debt had ballooned to nearly $200,000.

Amassing the Debt

My husband and I had always been financially responsible – or so we thought. Instead of going on a lavish honeymoon, we opted to put that money into what ultimately became our emergency fund; instead, we went on a simple, one-night “mini-moon” to a resort and spa near our home. We lived on a strict monthly budget, and never had to go in the red with those expenditures.

But we did a bad job of planning for the big things in life. While we had an emergency fund and a well-funded checking account, we didn’t have a real savings account. So when we needed (or wanted) to buy something new, we did what every other red-blooded American was doing at the time: we took out a loan and went deeper, deeper, deeper into debt.

Then the World Changed

Shortly after our third anniversary, three things happened all at once. The first was the completion of an addition we’d tacked on to our house – and the accompanying loan we’d tacked on to our debt. It put our total debts right on the verge of the $200,000 mark, and tipped our total net worth from the positive to the negative. We now officially owed more than we had.

The second big change to our world was the birth of our daughter, our first child. She joined our family on September 14th, 2008. And that’s the same day that, in many respects, the rest of the world changed forever, too.

That’s because just as our daughter entered the world, Barclays chose not to pursue the takeover of Lehman Brothers; the next day, the investment house filed for bankruptcy protection. The markets crashed. Unemployment started to soar. Bailouts were debated. The Recession was now front page news.

Our Perspective Changed, Too

Almost overnight, the idea of being deeply in debt went from being in vogue to being a curse. Prior to September 2008, much of the world – and my husband and I – had separated debt into “good” and “bad” categories. “Good” debts included loans on necessities like your education, your home, maybe your cars – and as long as your debts were squarely in that “good” column, it didn’t matter how high they were. But as the world’s financial situation continued on its downward spiral, this outlook underwent a rapid evolution. Suddenly, applying for a loan was out of style, and all the cool kids were into smart saving and investing.

Maybe it was the Recession; maybe it was my new title of “Mom”: whatever the impetus, how I viewed all our debts changed instantly, too. Just a few months earlier, the loans had felt like a pathway to our dreams; now they felt like a burden. By the time our daughter was just one month old, my husband and I had sat down to create a long-term plan for battling our debt.

How We Did It

Up to this point, we’d always lived on a budget. It allowed us to have everything we needed, and most of what we wanted, with some loose change left over at the end of the month. This was the first thing that had to change if we were going to pay down our debt. We revised our budget from one of comfort to one of restraint; we eliminated the things we didn’t need and found cheaper ways to get the things we did. Our new monthly budget meant saying “no” a lot more than we ever had before. Sometimes, the budget itself began to feel like a burden, until we remembered what the combined lessons of the Recession and parenthood had taught us: that debt only stands in the way of your freedom.

Every dime we saved went into paying down our debt. The first loan to go was our credit card debt for the addition; we managed to pay it off before the no-interest period ended. A year later, we’d saved enough to pay off the first of two vehicle loans; we paid off the second about a year ago. And last fall – with the help of my parents and their generosity – we paid off my student loans, the ones my husband had married right along with me on our wedding day.

Today, we’re out of debt… well, we’re almost out of debt. We’ve paid off every single loan with the exception of our mortgage. There’s a reason for this (which I’ll get into in a later post), but right now, we’re comfortable where we are.

Has life ever forced you to reexamine the way you think about debt? What experience(s) changed your perspective?

Be Proactive in Dealing with Debt

Rule 4 logo

People who have debts find it hard to sleep at night. The feelings of stress and guilt around being in debt have a massive psychological effect and interfering with your sleep can just be the starting point. Debt can have an indirect effect on your health and well-being and also cause problems in your relationship, quite apart from the practical realities of owing money.

Unless you take steps to deal with your debt, none of these symptoms are going to get any better, and of course, if you don’t start paying off your debts, the amount you owe will just increase through charges and increased interest on unpaid bills.

Although the amount of debt you have may feel insurmountable, there is always a way to work clear of debt. Different options will be open to you, depending on how much you owe and your personal circumstances.

If you are in a position where you earn more than you need to spend on the household every month, then you could work to a strict budget and use any excess income to gradually pay off the debts that you have. You can take steps to minimize your outgoings – such as getting the best deal on utilities that’s on the market, and by cutting your groceries bills – so that you gradually have more left over each month to pay off the debt.

Not everyone in debt will be able to work their way out of it by themselves. It may be that you can’t generate any leftover income, or can’t see how to do so. In this case, you may want to enter into a debt management plan with a debt management company or a financial charity that offers a similar service.

A debt management plan is a more structured way of paying off your debts. The debt management company helps you work out what you need for your household budget, then fixes an affordable monthly payment from you which is then redistributed amongst your creditors on your behalf. There’s a fee for the service, but the company should be able to negotiate interest rate and charges freezes with creditors on your behalf and it will take a lot of the stress out of the situation for you.

Whichever route you take towards being debt free, it’s bound to better than trying to avoid the issue. It’s not going to be an easy ride, but with perseverance, you’ll get there.

Threats to Debt Freedom

pmi debt

The biggest threat to debt freedom is…going back in debt, and that’s one of my biggest worries now that we are debt free (minus the house).

I don’t plan on going out and borrowing any money in the near future, but I guess that’s the idea. If something unplanned were to happen, like one of our paid-for cars going kaput or a job loss, I’d be stuck flat-footed when it came to replacing it.

I’m trying to save $10,000 by Christmas, and I have no room to be saving for a replacement car, even though I know I should be. I suppose I could use the cash I’ve accumulated thus far to buy a cheap used car, which is what I’d have to do if my car died tomorrow, but if I wanted to make sure I have something decent that gets good gas mileage and is reliable, I’d have to spend more than I have today.

This is a bit frustrating because it goes to show that even after you escape the clutches of debt, its power is so strong that you must continue to prepare and take action against it to avoid falling back into its arms.

Because what good is debt freedom if you immediately have to take out another car loan? That would be demoralizing.

 

Luck Plays a Role

As I’ve said in the past, personal finance isn’t just about math. It’s more about psychology and learning to look past money myths.

It’s also about luck.

That’s right, in addition to relying on all the wisdom I’ve accumulated over years of reading hundreds if not thousands of personal finance articles, I am relying on luck and wishful thinking.

I am hoping that my car makes it until next year without any more major repairs, or without dying.

I am hoping that something major doesn’t happen to my house, like a roof leak or the death of the furnace.

Though it may sound strange, part of me believes in fate. I’ve been very lucky in my life.

What happens to me is what is supposed to happen.

This is not a guiding principle in my life, but rather an ever-present mantra that helps me breathe easier and sleep at night.

Life is about balance, and so is money. We want to be free from debt and obligation to lenders, but we also want to avoid having so much control that we obsess about every money decision and pout every day the markets are down.

A belief in a certain degree of fate and accepting that most things are beyond my control is how I sleep at night. It helps to take some of the pressure off and put it onto others.

Who knew you can find so much comfort in the fact that so much is beyond our control?

We Did It: Debt Free

IMG_0429

After nearly eight years of stops and starts, forward progress and steps backwards, we did it. Over $100,000 in consumer debt has been paid off to get us debt free (minus house), including student loans, two new cars, 3 international trips, a wedding, furniture, and other various expenses that come with having two kids.

We did it by creating a debt payoff plan, tracking our progress, and most importantly, working together.

We stopped treating each person’s debt as a separate problem. “My” debt became “our” debt. We combined finances and efforts. We paid off debts from smallest amount to largest to build momentum.

debt free

Enjoying our debt free vacation. Trsat, Croatia

We even did it despite my wife losing her job and taking a lower-paying one.

Even though some told us that debt was normal, that it was okay to keep some around in order to free up cash-on-hand, we saw the writing on the wall in 2008 and no longer did we want to be slaves to large banks, entities that seem to become more threadbare as each year passes. We wanted to be debt free.

We had grown tired of renting our life, and although we made a decent salary, we had nothing to show for it (besides the Stuff we bought). We had no money saved up for retirement and no plan. The only option seemed to be that we must always continue to earn the same amount of money each year, and more, lest we fall behind.

We weren’t looking to get ahead, we were trying to stay afloat.

You Have to Get Serious (and Mad)

To become debt free, you have to get mad. Mad at yourself and mad at the system that makes it too easy for people to get in over their heads.

Once I saw that the rich would get a bailout, the poor would get a handout, and the middle class would be left out, it was the last straw. No longer would I buy things I could not afford, and no longer would I be beholden to a bill statement that comes in the mail each month.

The key is to be just mad enough that you stay motivated, and not so much that you give up out of anger and the crushing feeling of inevitability that comes with a lot of debt.

I now have a strong feeling of independence. If I want to take a lower-stress, lower-pay job that is more rewarding, I can do so because I’m no longer dependent on my paycheck being a certain amount.

You Can Be Debt Free, Too

I started this site for a few reasons. One, to track our progress and give me an outlet to express all the lessons I learned from trial and error, and countless hours reading books and the sites of other personal finance bloggers.

The second reason was to show married couples (with or without kids) that they too can harness the power of lifestyle design, and start to live more intentionally. Building a family doesn’t have to mean that you sacrifice your financial future to provide the best life for your kids. You can do it all debt free.

If everyone sacrifices everything for the next generation and their kids end up having to care for them, did we really get ahead? It’s okay to break the cycle and put your own retirement first, while still preparing your children for a solid future.

This is a place to ask questions, and question the answers. Nothing is sacred. The more conventional the wisdom, the bigger the target on its back.

What’s Next?

Some have asked me what’s next for this site, now that we are debt free (minus house).

Don’t worry, you will continue to get posts about money topics, and you may see some new topics in finance as our lives shift from debt warfare to building up savings towards retirement.

I don’t really plan to aggressively attack our mortgage debt, since we have equity and a home is something that can be paid off more gradually.

 

Readers: Where are you with debt? What is your plan?

Debt Payoff Progress – June

Well, I’m not going to have many more of these updates, only one more to be exact.

I logged in to my student loan processor’s website today and saw a balance of $1,322. I have now reached the point where my last payment is smaller than my normal monthly debt payment of $1,771. I have an extra $450 that will probably just go to car repairs, but it’s nice to have.

Last month we started at $3,079 in debt, and ended at $1,322.

Read more

Free Debt and Budget Spreadsheet

One of the more popular articles on Married (with Debt) is part of our 10 Rules to Eliminate Debt and Change Your Life - the part where we make a debt and budget spreadsheet to track our bills, debts owed and daily spending.

I get an email almost every day asking for a free copy of the one I use. If you would like a copy for yourself, just email me through the Contact page and I’ll send you the Microsoft Excel budget template I built.

Because this was such an important tool in helping us get out of debt, I wanted to talk more about why having a debt and bills due spreadsheet is important:

Read more

Archive by Date

May 2013
S M T W T F S
« Apr    
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031