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What Happens To A Dream Deferred?

LBalke

The following is a staff writer post from Libby Balke. She’s an amazing writer, work-at-home mother of two, and has been married almost 8 years. Please leave any questions or comments below for either Libby or Crystal.

Maybe it’s because National Poetry Month (April) just wrapped up, but lately, I’ve been silently repeating the old Langston Hughes poem – the one that gave rise to the title of Lorraine Hansberry’s quintessential mid-20th century play, “A Raisin in the Sun,” – over and over and over again. In case you’re not familiar, I’ll refresh your memory:

What happens to a dream deferred?
      Does it dry up
      like a raisin in the sun?
      Or fester like a sore—
      And then run?
      Does it stink like rotten meat?
      Or crust and sugar over—
      like a syrupy sweet?
      Maybe it just sags
      like a heavy load.
      Or does it explode?
Or maybe it’s because this poem kind of symbolizes my family’s life – and, in particular, my husband’s life – these days. You see, yesterday, we packed up all our things and moved out of our first house, the place we called home for the past almost-seven years.

Our Dream Deferred

Tomorrow, my husband begins his first day of work at his new job. But, in order to get to this new job, he had to leave behind his old one… and therein lies that deferred dream Hughes spoke so eloquently (and ominously) about. You see, my husband’s worked in law enforcement for the past seven years. Not only does he like the field, he’s damn good at it. But as we plotted our move back to my hometown, we soon realized something: a direct transfer from his current department to a new one in our new town was all but impossible. Even getting hired on as a rookie with a new department proved a series of civil service hoops to jump through. He became discouraged, bordering on depressed. Ultimately, my dad offered him a position as a shipping clerk at his business, giving my husband a job while he hunted for a career.
In today’s economy, so many Americans have had to settle for jobs that pay the bills, as opposed to careers that give them true fulfillment and satisfaction. Watching my husband over the past several weeks – as he prepared to leave a career he’d worked so hard to attain for a job that veers on nepotism – has been a wake up call. In many ways, America’s Great Recession left my family virtually untouched; sure, our house lost value, but from a personal finance perspective, 2008-2012 were excellent years for us in many ways. We were lucky.
Right now, my husband’s professional dreams have definitely been deferred. He put aside his own aspirations so he could focus on what’s best for our family, and for that I am truly grateful. I just wonder what’s going to happen down the road if he can’t get his career back on track. What will the repercussions of his decision three months down the road? A year? Five years? Will those dreams dry up? Fester? Explode?
I hope we never have to find out.
Have you ever had to defer a dream? How did you deal with it? Any advice you’d pass on to my husband?

Thanks to These Blog Carnivals – May 2013

Carnival

Hi again!  Every week, we submit our favorite posts to a variety of blog carnivals.  When we are selected, it is common courtesy (and an expectation) that we link back to those that included us.  So thank you to everyone that included us!!!

Blog Carnivals that Included MWD

Also, as a thank you for reading these carnival updates, I’ll start including at least one giveaway that I’ve seen open recently.  :-)

Giveaways

How to Reduce your Energy Costs as a Business

Costs

The following is a guest post.

Trying to keep on top of your commercial energy use is just as important as saving on energy in your own home, and there are plenty of ways in which you can do it without having to invest in improvements.

While reducing costs through energy supply is possible, such as by changing the energy plan you’re signed up to, or switching to a cheaper supplier who has a better, tailor-made deal, it’s often the little changes within the business that can help save that much-needed cash.

Turning your thermostat down by 1 degree or changing the light bulbs may have been quick fixes that gave a little improvement on your commercial energy bill, but you may now be needing to look at other changes that will help to keep your bills as low as possible. With energy costs forever rising, now is the ideal time to make permanent changes, which will not just be reflected in your overheads but also will have a positive impact on the environment in which we live in.

Changing your habits will go a long way towards improving your energy efficiency. You don’t need newfangled technology to make a positive change. All you need is a little nous and a bit of initiative to push the ideas forward. Changing light bulbs simultaneously and at regular intervals, to energy saving alternatives and opting for movement-sensor lights that turn off when nobody is there will help to save a bundle. Setting up incentives which will encourage staff to contribute to a more energy efficient work environment will also help to get everybody else on board.

If you have the funds, upgrading computer equipment to newer models will improve the energy efficiency as more recent models are inherently more energy efficient. Training your staff to implement energy-saving modes when possible will also help to keep costs down. It’s not always possible to turn off machinery after hours, but putting them onto a lower energy state is better than nothing.

Saving energy, money and our planet shouldn’t be an arduous task. In fact, it’s fairly simple when you know how. Whether you’re at home or the office, do your bit and your accounts will love you forever.

Who’s Your Real “Head of Household”?

LBalke

The following is a staff writer post from Libby Balke. She’s an amazing writer, work-at-home mother of two, and has been married almost 8 years. Please leave any questions or comments below for either Libby or Crystal.

“He’s a great husband and a great father,” I found myself saying to a few friends over drinks one night, as we discussed the relative merits (and demerits) of our spouses. Then I paused.

“So what’s there to complain about?” one of my friend’s chimed in.

“Well, he’s a lousy head of household,” I replied. My friends just looked at me, an obvious expression of confusion on their faces.

My Head-of-Household Definition

For most of us, our familiarity with that term – head of household – is limited to the IRS’s description of it. My husband’s never filed his taxes as head of household; he never earned enough income to file federal taxes until we were married, and since then, we’ve always filed jointly. What I was talking about here (and what my friends failed to understand) was my husband’s inability to manage our household, at least financially.

In our family, I am in charge of:

  • Paying all the bills. That includes everything from our mortgage payment to our daughter’s preschool tuition to the credit card statement. I can’t remember the last time my husband paid a bill, to be honest.
  • Keeping track of all our tax documents, then getting them to our tax preparer (aka, my dad).
  • Setting our monthly budget and making sure we’re living within it.
  • Managing our investments, including our stocks, retirement accounts, and kids’ college savings.

You get the idea.

It’s Not All Bad

On one hand, I’m happy to be in charge of all these financial responsibilities. I’m a money-minded person, after all, and all this comes naturally to me; my husband, on the other hand, is a recovering spendthrift whose parents never instilled the value of money on to their son (they weren’t negligent with their own money – they just didn’t see the need to teach him about handling it). But on the other hand, I fear I’m doing my husband a great disservice. If I were to die tomorrow (my overly-superstitious Catholic-self is performing the sign of the cross as we speak), my husband wouldn’t know where to find half of the accounts in my name – he’d never be able to collect my life insurance policy, because he wouldn’t know where to find it.

It’s not that he isn’t a part of our family’s financial decisions: we talk about money a lot, and make virtually all our decisions as a couple. I don’t even spend my Christmas or birthday money without checking in with him first. But when it comes to executing our financial plans, I’m the real “head of household,” while he’s simply a clued-in bystander.

I know this isn’t the way it used to be. My dad, like his dad before him, is the money-manager in his marriage. Taking control of the family’s finances used to be considered a man’s job, and for some of my friends, it still is. I once had a friend who told me she had no idea how much her husband made, how much they paid for their house or mortgage, how much they had in savings, and if they even had any type of retirement accounts. I found this proposition absolutely horrifying – I’ve never felt that ignorance was bliss, especially when it comes to money – and told her as much. “It’s what works for us,” she replied, neither thrown off by my harsh judgment nor by her own lack of information.

Sometimes, I ask my husband if it bothers him that I tend to take over all our family’s financial transactions. “Not really,” he answers. “You like that stuff; if I did it, it would only be out of obligation. Plus, you’d have to spend a lot of time showing me how to do everything, and I know you think that’s a waste of time.”

This man knows me far too well.

Who is the financial “head of household” in your family? Does your family’s situation ever bother you?

Ten ways to run your household for less

Post-Pic

The following is a guest post.

Most homeowners will find themselves a little short of cash every now and then – this could be due to needing a new boiler, unanticipated plumbing work or a necessary service on the family car. Thankfully there are a number of ways to run your household for less:

Save on energy bills

Swapping your incandescent bulbs for LED bulbs is a hassle free way to save on energy costs, whilst lowering your carbon footprint. Light Emitting Diodes may be a little more costly initially; this cost however is quickly forgotten in the long run. Consumers will certainly notice a difference in their annual energy bills and another benefit of this changeover comes in the form of not having to buy replacement bulbs – LEDs can last up to 10,000 hours or more.

Set a monthly budget

Setting a monthly budget will help you stick to this budget. Many consumers will put all of their household necessities, clothing and day-to-day buys on their credit card. When it comes to paying your monthly credit card bill off, the final amount often comes as an unexpected shock.

Save on household cleaning products

Switching your regular shop-bought household cleaning products for something a little more natural will save you spending your hard-earned pennies on something unnecessary. Vinegar, although a popular dressing, is also a great cleaning product. Vinegar will quickly remove stains and blemishes from a number of surfaces. Those that are worried about the smell will be pleased to know it lasts for only five minutes.

Wash one large load of laundry

Washing one large load of laundry per week as opposed to several small loads can save hundreds on water and electricity bills. This handy energy saving method will also allow you to organise your wardrobe to suit your lifestyle.

Prepare meals in advance

Preparing and freezing meals for the entire family at the weekend is a great way to save money on breakfast, lunch and dinner throughout the week. Many find that they are too busy to make several meals on the day and instead, choose to eat out. This can cost over £20 per week.

Go paperless

Paperless bills can save householders money on their monthly bills. A number of utility providers offer customer incentives in order to encourage their customers to switch, saving them around £5 per bill per year.

Join forces

Combining your telephone, internet and mobile provider will cut costs. Many companies will offer a discount if you choose them for all three services.

Shop smart

Swap expensive labels for ‘own brands’. Heavily branded bread can be up to a pound more than that of the supermarkets’ ‘own brand’. These savings will quickly mount up, allowing the consumer to save a great deal on the weekly household shop.

Cash in on coupons

Newspapers, magazines and online stores often offer discounts in the shape of coupons to their loyal customers. Sign up to store websites in order to ensure you are the first to hear of such promotions.

Invest in double-glazing

Heating can be expensive at the best of times, buying into double glazing will ensure you don’t have your heating on full blast at all times, thus saving you a great deal on energy bills.

If you are struggling with your finances, it is always advisable to remember that help and support is available. Whether you are looking for transparent and affordable lending options and services such as bad credit loan lenders like Everyday Loans, or some sound advice from debt advice centres, never bury your head in the sand about your money issues. With a bit of planning options can be found.

Why a Jumper Always Make a Stylish Fashion Choice

Clothes

The following is a guest post from Stacey Hoveson, a writer and blogger with a love of the many cute jumpers available out there.

In this so-called spring time, where grey skies and rain seem to be a frequent occurrence, thoughts will inevitably turn to the hazy days of summer. When the sun shines, the world seems like a better place to be. Personally, however, I would rather have the dark depths of winter, snuggled safe in a cosy jumper, over a baking hot afternoon, any day.

There’s just something enthralling about the winter. Most people love the summer more than anything else, but as an Autumn-born child the winter holds a certain magical appeal for me. When snow falls, the world becomes a flurry of crystallised snowflakes. We wrap up warm, make it through the day and heat up with a hot chocolate in the evening. You don’t have to worry about getting a tan, you’re mentally prepared for the bad weather which inevitably comes and you get to eat more because you need to keep up your fat reserves.

It must have been in the winter that I first fell in love with my collection of jumpers and sweaters. As a child I had all the usual themed ones with Minnie Mouse, Cinderella and Snoopy adornments. But there was one special sweater that I preferred to all the rest. It was a hand-knitted cable type specially made for me by a relative in Scotland. Simple, cosy and beautifully crafted, it was brought out on special occasions to wear, or as a treat when our little cottage got really chilly and we had to spend the evening by the fire.

My passion for jumper-shaped objects in all shapes and sizes has not diminished over the years. I’ve flirted with cardigans, tangoed with ponchos and had a brief dalliance with zip-up hoodies. Throughout these times my jumper collection has remained steadfast and reliable and it is to this item of clothing I return whenever I am unsure, either of the weather or of what to wear. With the exception perhaps of interviews or very formal occasions, I am fairly sure I could find a jumper to suit any activity I wanted to do.

When you come to think of it, a jumper really is a versatile piece of clothing. Teamed with a pair of skinny jeans and shoe boots, you have the perfect outfit to go shopping in. Pair one with a pair of shorts and tennis shoes and you’re ready for a day at the beach, even if it is windy. At home, cosy up with a plaid jumper and you’ll be safe as houses and warm to boot. The great thing is that jumpers aren’t all heavy and clumpy, either. You can choose from a range of sweaters which are lightweight and easy to move in, whilst still staying warm and comfortable.

 

Selling Our House Update

Home

by John Miro

Many of you know that my family is selling our home and moving because I found a new job. It’s been almost two months since the house was listed, and I must admit that it feels like our house will never sell.

We sold our first house in 2008 when all the housing mess was going on, and maybe I’m repressing memories, but it seems like it was easier to sell then. Granted, there was a homebuyer tax credit for first time buyers back then. We were also selling a home within the price range of a first time buyer, so that probably explains much of the difference.

I also read a recent article that said despite overall progress, sales of existing homes are slightly down. The article said also that sales of expensive homes were increasing. What I take from that is a lesson that if you try to play around in the middle, you will get lost in the sea that is the middle. Our house is not priced low enough for a young family, yet it is not expensive enough for the upper middle aged couple looking to expand.

One thing I learned from the housing crisis and the ensuing actions by the US federal government and treasury department: the rich get bailouts, the poor get handouts, and the middle class gets left out.

For those that play around in the middle, and by that I mean live a middle class life, it is tough to get ahead. Hell, it tough to get even, to get back to zero. When we paid off our debt last year, sending the final check on the same day we boarded a plane for two weeks in the sunny Adriatic, it was hard not to experience a variety of emotions. The first was jubilation for being debt free (minus the house) for the first time since graduating high school. That joy quickly turned to “oh shit I don’t have any money saved!” I thought about the two paid-for vehicles back in our garage, and instead of pride I felt fear of what would happen if one just died. A vehicle is a debt, even when it’s paid off, and as I recently wrote, having one can be an intangible asset in our lives, especially if we live in a place with no mass transit options.

So, back to our home selling issue.

We are having a few problems:
  • The home is at the higher end of the price spectrum for the neighborhood. It is move-in ready and except for eventually needing to replace the driveway, but there isn’t much needed to do to it. This means there isn’t much room to get your money back on improvements.
  • It has a small, crappy yard. We were never dog owners and prefer public parks and fields to backyard activities. We are finding that many people will sacrifice their own comfort (buy a smaller house, etc), if it means more yard for their dog or children. This is something I don’t quite understand, yet I acknowledge that it exists.
  • Uncertainty. This means I don’t know why the ‘eff it isn’t selling, and maybe the answer is uncertainty. Maybe there is something about the house we can’t see that makes people hesitant or uninterested?

Despite our lack of progress, we get mainly positive feedback. Positive, yet hesitant. “The house was great, yard not so much.” “House was great but wants the storage of a traditional basement” (Our home is a split level with tons of closet space. I take this to mean that these folks are weird hoarders who hang out in musty basements).

Stay Positive, “It’s Only Money”

Despite all this concern, I am staying positive. We haven’t even hit the Average Days On Market yet, and after all, it’s only money.

We are not underwater on the home and in fact, can lower the price quite a bit and still break even. We aren’t facing the problems many have every day, and for that I’m grateful.

Which brings me back to the point of the middle class – if you can’t have wealth, you might as well have fun. Now this could sound like excuse-making for those who spend wildly and rack up debt, and for many it is. I heard it before: “you can’t take it with you.”

Those who say that are right.

But it is also right to take responsibility for your life, pay off your credit cards and stop living like a drone for Procter and Gamble and Toyota. Take some time to make a monthly budget. Take some time to think ahead. Maybe invest in some dynamic mutual funds.  If you change your expectations, can you retire early?

If I do some research, will I stop repeating the retirement garbage from the retirement-for-profit industry that tells you that you need multiple millions in your bank and coupled with a modest return rate and the right choices, you can die in twenty years with…almost exactly what you retired with?

What fun is that?

We buckled down for quite a few years and made a lot of sacrifices, but that was to get to a point where the problem of selling a home is not a crisis. Even if it doesn’t sell, I can attempt to rent it and cover expenses. I have enough cash saved up to pay on it for over a year before it becomes empty.

This is what financial freedom means. The ability to take a job and move on a whim, and not be tied to a job or a city because of money. The ability to work only when needed.

A wise man once told me: “It’s only money. You can always get more money.” I think that is some of the best advice I’ve ever heard, but it’s easier spoken by someone who has it. It does remind us of those times when we have it, and those times when we don’t. Sometimes life just rains on you and thousands of dollars are sucked out of your bank account for car repairs and broken furnaces.

But if you develop a philosophy of money that allows you to question the rules and motives of those making the rules, you can break free from money and it’s power of people.

Because when that older, wiser man was giving me that advice, it was in response to a story I told him about the mayor of our city killing himself because he squandered nearly a million dollars from his dead aunt’s estate, money that was supposed to go to a religious charity.

“You can always get more money,” he replied, shaking his head.

If you are living in America or Canada or Europe, you can probably always get more money. Our social safety net is not going to let you starve if you are a normal person down on your luck. That gives us the freedom to take risks with our money, or the comfort to punch a clock from 9-5 and retire without a great deal of needs.

If you think of life as a game, it’s more fun. If you play your cards right, you will probably get a great deal of 1-Ups and Respawns, but you will also get kicked in the junk quite a few times as well.

Make sure you take a moment to live your life. Take your vacation days every year. Reclaim your lunch hour. Sit in the sun and leave your smartphone inside on the desk.

Save money in advance for large purchases. Pay ahead of your credit card statement. Start thinking five years ahead, and stop thinking about your next paycheck.

Life is a game. Money is a game. But it’s a game where you can decide when you’ve won, so don’t set the goalposts too far or you’ll wake up one day like Ebenezer Scrooge, too frail to wheel yourself onto a filthy cruise ship for that vacation you never took. Set a savings goal, and once you get there, relax.

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